Sergeant Undave, leading 2nd Only Just Tanks Division
defended East Midlands
Sergeant Thraxar, leading 21st Bersaglieri
FAO. GHQ. Nottingham: Maj. D. Flashadder reporting.
Whilst on routine patrol in the environs of the village of Bugbrooke Northants. I was taking my bearings in a patch of long grass and shrubbery in the company of my batman Bob (who is not a girl) when I was approached by a well dressed gentleman who bid me "good morning." I knew instantly that something was amiss as it was a quarter past three in the afternoon. My suspicions were confirmed when the blighter suddenly shouted "Sieg Heil!" or some such foreign gibberish and ran at me, brandishing a German made sub-machinegun.
Fortunately he tripped over Bob who had been hidden from view bending down to polish... my boots. Indeed, I was able to put the blackguard down but not before he had done for the valiant Bob. The Bosche must have had compatriots standing by because as soon as Bob's manly scream rent the air I was set upon by the entire Wehrmacht (or at least the greater part of it!) They were dressed entirely in black shirts (some sort of nefarious camouflage no doubt) and were accompanied by numerous big guns and heavy artillery.
As luck would have it, they didn't seem to have more than two rounds between them. Then it dawned on me, I was in possession of the keys to His Majesty's armoury and the blighters must have been after them to resupply their blitzkreig. Ordering my men to delay enemy at all costs, I bravely escorted the keys to safety.
It is with heavy heart that I must report the loss of my entire platoon to a man, including the valiant Bob, who was most certainly a man.
I remain your obt. servant,
Maj. Denis Flashadder IND. ARM. RTD. coward and bar.